Thanksgiving -- A List of Unappreciated Treasures

No surprise that I got to thinking this week about what I am truly thankful for in my life. As Thanksgiving approaches, I have a lot blessings in my life -- great family and friends, wonderful wife and kids, health, good job, etc. These are not things that we should take for granted.  They are things we all appreciate and they top the list when I think about my annual Thanksgiving toast.

But then I thought about other things that I enjoy.  Oddities that go unnoticed or unappreciated.  The conveniences, the technologies, the little treasures that make me happy.  The truth is there are many things that we take for granted.  Here are my top five "unappreciated" treasures:

Cheerios -- They are simple, delicious and healthy,.  They can travel.  They are just as delectable when you are 2 years old as when you are 92 years old.  I will eat them dry for a quick snack in the car.  They will be my cereal of choice when I grab the complementary continental hotel breakfast.  Every Saturday morning, I will make a nice tall glass of chocolate milk (with Quik, of course), and fill my glass with Cheerios.  Perfection.  Cheerios, those whole grain oats have been around since 1941, and they are a simple and reliable pleasure that I always appreciate.  You can read their history here.

GPS and Google -- I am nostalgic about many things, but not driving directions.  Global Positioning Systems (GPS), Google, etc., are amazing. I have no sense of direction.  I once crossed the Tappan Zee Bridge three times because I couldn't figure which side I should be on to get home. I know, pathetic. When I was growing up, you would call the person or place you were visiting to request directions.  I remember painstakingly writing down directions, praying that there would be no more than 3 or 4 turns off the highway, knowing I would wind up lost.  My glove compartment had an envelope with every set of directions I had ever written.  From a road trip to Syracuse to my friend's house in Monmouth Beach.  Times change.  This year, I went to Spain  and found my way around Barcelona and Sitges using Google maps.  How wonderful is it that my kids will never have to squint their eyes and try to read directions placed on the center of their steering wheel, as they drive down a dark road by themselves.  I love this stuff.


 
Smiles -- Smiles are infectious happiness.  My wife smiling at me across our desk.  My kids smiling at me to see if they can get out of trouble.  A friend nodding and smiling at you across the aisle at church.  Or, even a stranger smiling and saying good morning as they hold a door open. A brief grin makes anyone feel a little bit better.  It makes you know things aren't so bad if you're having a tough day.  It challenges you to think about what is worth smiling about in your life. A smile gives you hope and makes you warm.

 

On-demand anything -- Life is busy and hectic.  So many things have to happen at a certain time.  Get the kids to school.  Make that conference call.  Be at that practice.  So much is beyond our control.  When I am ready to finally collapse on the couch, and I want to watch a show or a movie, I don't want to channel surf.  I appreciate being able to call up Scandal and blast through the commercials.  When I get on the treadmill on a Saturday morning, I don't want to watch the news, cartoons, etc.  I want to catch up on The Blacklist. When I was young you scheduled a lot of your life around the TV you watched. It's nice that one pleasure can now be scheduled around me.

Laughter -- I don't mean the polite chuckle.  I mean real laughter.  I mean milk out of your nose laughter.  I mean the way comedians Bobby Collins and Dom Irrera would leave me and my friend Mark with tears running down our cheeks at a comedy club.  I mean laughter like the first time you saw the movie Airplane! or heard Robin Williams go on a riff!  That kind of laughter releases endorphins, relieves stress and improves your health.


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So, those are just a few of the unappreciated treasures I am thankful for this year...  What are yours?

Leaving a thumbprint on your life

We all meet thousands of people in our lives. Some we encounter in fleeting moments. The man  we bump into while waiting in line for a burger.  The woman we talk to in line at the post office.  The retail person who helps us pick out the right gift for our wife. The contractor who spends weeks in our house painting and putting up walls. Their impressions on us may come and go like dust on a nightstand. Easily noticed, but quickly wiped away.

Other people spend more time in our lives. Family members. Classmates. Neighbors. Co-workers. People we meet on our daily commutes or at favorite watering holes.  These people usually leave more of an impression on us.  More than we may even realize.

The truth is there are many people in our lives who leave their thumbprint on us.  A mark that is there for life, but not noticed until you look for it.  They may have shaped our outlook on life; taught us skills we will always use; or provided comfort at a critical time.  They leave an indelible impression that we don't notice or appreciate until we are prompted to reflect.

This story is about my former co-worker and friend John, who passed away this week, and the thumbprint he left on me.

The Original News Junkie

John was  a newsman.  He spent many of his early years as a reporter and would fondly recount his days working for the United Press International (UPI) wire service to me.  It's where he got his discipline for writing and his passion for the media. He loved the news. Everything about it. John was the original news junkie.

The Original News Junkie

I met John many years after he left the newsroom, when he was a veteran PR guy for AT&T and I was a young pup still finding my way around corporate America.   John was a well-respected and beloved media relations pro and we became good friends when we both worked in the Corporate Media Relations office for AT&T spinoff Lucent Technologies.

When his daughter called me this week to let me know he had passed away, I thought about John and all the little ways he had helped make me who I am because of the man he was to me.  We hadn't talked in over a year, but ironically, the day before he died I was speaking about him to an executive I was coaching.

Here are three quick stories that tell you about John and the thumbprint he left on me.

1) Media Relations is about Relationships, Stupid.

I never saw anyone who was better at building a relationship with a reporter than John.  He was so affable and friendly. He knew reporters' birthdays, their kids' names, their dog's names, where they played golf, favorite sports teams, etc.  He made a connection. He knew that their professional relationship didn't have to be an adversarial one.  He had lived in a newsroom and knew that world -- the editorial pressures, the changing landscape, how to pitch (not spin).  He was a voracious reader and knew more about reporters and outlets than anyone I have met since.  He was someone every journalist respected and trusted.

Princess Telephone

You can do a lot of "good" media relations with a great story to tell, but try having a "no win" story to defend.  For years, John "owned" the AT&T -- and then Lucent -- Consumer Leasing beat.  Even after Lucent sold the business, the buyer contractually obligated us to continue handling the media relations.  The basic consumer leasing news story went something like this -- "Grandma passed away and her kids discovered she had been leasing her telephone from AT&T and its successor companies for 30 years even after law changes, technology and economics made this seem like lunacy.  The kids discover that Grandma spent $25,000 over her lifetime leasing a "Princess" phone that she could have bought for $25 from RadioShack."  Every consumer reporter's dream story.

John had the talking points and background down pat, and he would talk every reporter through it with credibility -- and without sounding like a heartless bastard.  In the best case, he would talk them out of writing a story.  More often than not, we were satisfied if John could just get our statement into the story -- which he usually did.

2) You're a Leader Now, So Sound Like One

John had seen me grow up as a fresh-faced kid from AT&T and so when I first got promoted to lead part of the Corporate Communications team at Lucent, I didn't know how he would react having to report to me.

The first day of the news, John walked into my new office, closed the door and said, "Let's talk."  He knew it was a tricky situation when your mentee now becomes your boss.  We had a candid talk about how things were going to work.  I had so much respect for him and needed his help, his insight, his support.  He respected me, liked me and was proud to see me get my new position.  We agreed to be very candid and open with each other.  And we also agreed that there would be times when I might make a decision that John wouldn't agree with and that would be my call.  If John had an issue, he respected me -- and my position enough -- to talk to me in private.

After my first big staff meeting, John came into my office, closed the door and put a piece of paper on my desk.  It had all these little check marks on it.  He looked at me. I said, "I don't get it, John. What is this?"

"That is how many times you said  'Ya know' and "Uhm' in your staff meeting." These were engrained verbal crutches that I didn't even notice or hear when I was nervously speaking to a crowd. His point was these people look up to you. If you're going to be a leader, then sound like one.

Today, people like to say feedback is a "gift" in some hokey, corporate posterized motto.  But, for John it really was a gift -- and that was how I received it.  After every staff meeting, I would come back to my office and find a piece of paper on my desk.  Fewer and fewer check marks.  It was our secret.  He made me aware of a weakness and held me accountable to work on it. That was a gift.

3) You have a job to do.  Be a professional

At one time, John and I worked for an amazing woman, Jane, whom we loved.  One day, quite surprisingly, Jane passed away .  We had literally seen her one day, and the next morning we came in to be told she had passed away over night.  It was a complete shock to the whole team.

John was a very dignified man and walked out of the room where we were told the news, and he went quietly back to his office. I went to his office to see how he was doing.

John was sitting at his computer, pounding the keys like it was an old typewriter from his UPI stringer days.  He was writing Jane's obituary and press release.  The message was clear, "This is horrible news, but we're professionals and we have a job to do for Jane and the company."  I pulled up a chair and sat with John as we worked on the obit.  John was the consummate pro.

What impressions will you leave?

Lots of people pass through our lives every day -- and we pass through theirs.  I hope I am leaving some good impressions, some lasting, positive thumbprints on others, the same way John did for me.