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| Photo by Holger Link on Unsplash |
1) Be more patient and understanding. I have always been impatient. When I was about 8 years old, I wanted to get to basketball practice after my dentist gave me a filling. My mother said I had to eat lunch first. I wasn't about to wait and miss practice, so I insisted on eating my Ellio's pizza slices while my mouth was still numb from novocaine, and I foolishly took a huge bite out of my tongue (what a bloody mess!). Being a parent myself now hasn't increased my patience. Once a week, I will blow up because one of the kids is working on their "own clock" -- not mine. When my wife hears my muffled curses or slammed doors, she tells me to relax -- and she is usually right. Life is too short...
2) Be open to new experiences. I am a creature of habit and fiercely loyal. It's why I drove a Saturn for decades. It's why I keep going back to the Outer Banks for vacation. It's why I eat Cheerios at 50 years old the same way I ate Cheerios at 5 years old (in a glass of chocolate milk). Do right by me, and I will always be in your corner. The downside is that I can miss out on trying new experiences because they aren't familiar or because "I know I can't do that." Change and new experiences can bring their own anxieties, but I don't want be the dog who can't learn new tricks. Here's to embracing new experiences...
3) Don't become jaded. As I get older, I hope I don't become jaded and cynical (maybe "more" jaded and cynical is more accurate). It's easy to feel like you have seen it all before. How much enthusiasm can you bring each time for "back-to-school" nights and Christmas concerts year after year? After more than 20 years of press releases and earnings calls, how do you keep it fresh? You can lose your sense of awe, excitement or sentimentality over time. I hope I always tear up when Harry Bailey toasts his brother George in "It's A Wonderful Life." I hope each day at work brings me new challenges and satisfaction. I hope I always get excited when I hear "pomp and circumstance" play for my family's graduates. And lastly, I hope I always see life's freshness and possibilities, not the sameness and inevitability. Here's to keeping a childish enthusiasm for life...
4) Listen more compassionately. I am a fixer. I usually listen so that I can understand a problem and then help address it. I don't always listen compassionately. I have read the psychology books like Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus, and I know that some people just want to be heard and know someone is sympathetic to them; they are not asking for advice. I am not naturally "wired" for this type of listening. It's an area where I must grow (or at least fake it better), especially as we get older and face health issues and problems that don't always have a solution. Sometimes compassionate listening is all you can do. Here's to biting your tongue and opening your ears and heart...
5) Practice gratitude. I have been incredibly fortunate in my life. I never could have anticipated the amazing family, career and life we have built. Most days, I appreciate the blessings in my life and scratch my head at how lucky we are. It is so much more than I deserve. My friend recently lost a child to cancer, and I thought about how much he must have appreciated and treasured every moment they had together in her last year. Taking stock of the simple gifts in our lives is an important, positive and great ritual to practice every day. Here's to cherishing every sunrise, chuckle, taste and tear.
The truth is 50 is just a number, but it's a nice mile marker on the road for where you've been and where you still want to go... 