Classroom on the Court: "Picking Up" a Lifetime of Education

I've spent nearly one-third of my life in classrooms and enjoyed the instruction of brilliant and inspiring teachers that laid the foundation of my education. I've spent about two-thirds of my life in business offices, working at well-respected companies for some amazing bosses who taught me skills and knowledge that have helped me build my career. But, in between that class time and those business hours, I've learned some of my most valuable life lessons in a very different place.

When I think about places that have helped shape who I am, what I enjoy, and how I treat others, one place stands out: the basketball court -- or more specifically the pick-up basketball games I played throughout my life.

Whether it was Country Village Park, the Yanitelli Center, the Lombardi Field House, the Assumption School gym or other stops along the way, I've spent my life "picking up" games with friends and strangers who shared a common passion, a little sweat and simple respect.

Thinking back on some of these games and places, I can still see many of the diverse faces, sizes and shapes of the other players,... feel the damp cold of some courts and the suffocating heat of others,... and hear the squeak of sneakers on a newly waxed floor or the clang of a ball on a loose outdoor rim,

Country Village Park

I spent a lot of my time as a young kid and through high school, playing on the outdoor courts in Country Village (and the courts at Our Lady of Mercy School).  These were asphalt hard top courts, which were buzzing with games in the summer.

Much of the "grip" from this basketball
 was left on the Country Village Courts

There were three courts and mostly school kids all over the place during the summer. I would get there early and spend hours at the park shooting by myself to improve my game. I learned the lesson of putting in the time and practice to get better. The truth is you wouldn't get picked for a game or keep a court by winning if you didn't have some skills.

I would get into pick-up games with my friends or whoever was around (one-time Leonard Marshall from the NY Giants came by). Simply walking up to a stranger or group at another basket with a little confidence was all it took: "Wanna play?" Three-on-three or five-on-five, it didn't matter. The etiquette was easily understood.

The local kids in Country Village -- mostly from OLM -- "ran" the park, but pick-up games were a bit of an equalizer.  If you came to shoot around, people didn't bother you and would usually include you in a run. The occasional rival crew from St. Paul's or kids from the Curries Woods projects would come by and basketball was the peacemaker.

Where I grew up, there were simple rules and you followed them.  If you scored, you kept the ball (Winner takes). You didn't play dirty. You called your own fouls -- and everyone respected the call. There wasn't much "trash talk" in these games back in the 1980s. If you lost, it was next team up or shoot to see who got to play. It was good, clean, competitive fun.

Yanitelli Center

When I got to college, my pick-up games moved indoors to the bright lights and hardwood floors of Yanitelli Center at Saint Peter's College in Jersey City. Free court time was tough to get with team practices, intramurals, etc., all competing for time, but there were always good runs at night with top-notch players (current and former college players, community members, coaches and athletes from Jersey City). It was some really good basketball at a whole other level and speed -- not the rough and tumble play I was used to in Country Village.

Victor R. Yanitelli Recreational Life Center
at Saint Peter's College (now University)
in Jersey City

The court rules were generally the same, but a scrawny, 5'7 kid had his work cut out for him to get in -- and stay in -- these games.  In this environment, I learned how to fit in,... how to read people ... and I got to know more people who weren't like me.

I became friendly with some of the regular guys and learned their names (Van, John, Tommy). I respected people's boundaries. I passed a whole lot, hustled on both ends, kept my mouth shot and tried to keep my mistakes to a minimum. Looking back, it was an early place where I learned how to network. I became a familiar face, someone who people liked having on their team.

Lombardi Center

When I went to graduate school in the Bronx, I was trying to become part of a whole new community at Fordham University. I didn't know anyone, and my roommate was not a match (that's a story for another time). Most of the other students in my program were part-time or didn't live on campus, so life in the Bronx was a bit solitary.

Lombardi Field House

I started to shoot at the courts in the Lombardi Memorial Center. A big track field house type of facility with an indoor basketball court amidst the track and tennis courts. I discovered that they had a regular pick-up game at noon every day. It was a game organized by guys from the Athletics Department -- administrators, trainers, a few coaches. It was a "closed" game (no students and only select outsiders), but my time and lessons from Yanitelli made it easy to make the right connections and fit in here.

My grad school life was simple -- reading, studying, class, and basketball. I loved those basketball games. It was a friendly group and a daily reminder of what I loved about basketball.  No matter what else was going on with school or life, for that hour it was just competitive fun... make that shot ... thread that pass ... set that screen ... forget everything else. Basketball has always been that kind of refuge and happy place for me no matter what else has been going on in life.

Assumption School

I picked up games here and there after grad school, but as life went on with marriage, kids and growing older, the games and opportunities became less frequent.

When I got into my 40s, some dads from Assumption School and Parish in Morristown started a pick-up game at the school on weeknights. What a great opportunity to find that refuge and fun again. We have been running "old man basketball" -- as my kids call it -- for several years.  The crew has changed a lot over the years with a few constant faces. We have a mix of doctors, brokers, teachers, coaches, executives, etc., but we all lace up our sneakers and leave it out on the court for a couple of hours each week.

The backyard rim
where I still pick up a game
with the kids and cousins

My steps are slower and the shots drop less frequently at "old man basketball," but many of the life lessons from pick-up basketball remain.

• Keep the rules simple
• Enjoy the competition (it's not all about winning)
• Find common ground with others
• Respect people and what they bring to the group 
• Learn to read people and figure out how to fit in
• Do what you love as long as you can

As I get older, I enjoy and cherish each game a bit more. I know my days are numbered in this "classroom" where I picked up a lifetime of education.