Prep Career Day -- Going Home Again

This week, I returned to St. Peter's Prep in Jersey City to give a keynote speech for Career Day, and I tried to inspire and entertain 800 students with a few pearls of wisdom from my life and career. No easy task.  

My career certainly certainly doesn't feel extraordinary, but I hope my messages were relatable, memorable and meaningful for the students. I shared a Facebook post about the student who told me my remarks were "fire" -- Wow! -- and got a few requests for the speech, so here it is as prepared for delivery. Let me know what you think of my three lessons:

PREP CAREER DAY -- Dec. 8, 2023

Welcome

Thank you, Mike, for the introduction, and for inviting me today. It’s an honor to be back home at Prep and have the chance speak with you all.

As Mike mentioned, I work in Corporate Communications. That has been my career. I have been an executive at Zoetis, Pfizer, Johnson & Johnson, Lucent Technologies and AT&T over the course of my career.

I have spent my days preparing executives for media interviews on CNBC … running Investor Meetings and bell-ringings at the New York Stock Exchange … putting out fires with The Wall Street Journal when reporters call about rumors and lawsuits … launching new companies and strategizing how we can build those companies into trusted and admired brands.

It’s been a diverse, fun and wonderful career.

But, I will tell you I am most often the speechwriter, not the speaker, so this kind of spotlight is not my typical sweet spot … and it can be a bit intimidating.

I ask you to be patient with me today. And for those of you whose fathers may have been my classmates – that’s you Blunda, Tuohy, Giglio, Cutola and Briamonte -- tell them all I did a great job – no matter how this goes!!

Career Day

So let’s start ... Career Day!  Career can be such a daunting word. 

It sounds so Adult (My mother or my grandfather has a career).  It sounds so Permanent (it’s not just a job… it’s a career). It sounds so loaded with heavy expectations.  Expectations from our teachers, … from our parents, … and from ourselves.  You’ve been hearing it your whole life – what are going to be when you grow up?

This morning, I’d like to share three quick lessons to help lighten that heavy load as you think about your future and your career … and as we kickoff some great discussions with other alumni today. 

Do what you love – and where you shine

First, when I was growing up I loved playing basketball. I grew up in Jersey City, … playing ball with Bobby and Danny Hurley down in Country Village – guys whom many of you may know as amazing college basketball players at Duke and Seton Hall and coaches today at Arizona State and UConn.

And, when I came to Prep, I played basketball. Right there (pointing) was where I got my clock cleaned on a blindside pick by my best friend Mark Usarzewicz. Over there (pointing), was where I missed the switch on a screen in a game with Hudson Catholic, which cost us the game. Something my teammate and classmate Billy Deakyne never lets me forget to this day.

I loved playing basketball … and the summer before my junior year I was working hard to make varsity. I worked on my left hand all summer, … I lifted weights to bulk up, … I played in Jersey City summer leagues every week to get better.

But before tryouts started in the late fall that year, the coach met me in his office – somewhere here in the English building – and told me I wasn’t going to make the team. He loved my passion, … had watched me work all summer and knew I was trying hard, … but it was really competitive to win a spot on varsity.

So I kept playing basketball for fun and in intramurals, … but, I also discovered something else I loved while I was at Prep.  Writing.

Whether it was an English paper on Hamlet or Paradise Lost … an article for the Petroc  … or creative stories for the literary magazine, … Writing was something I loved to do … and perhaps more importantly it was something I was really good at. As time passed, I discovered it was something I could be great at.

Writing was something people appreciated about me … an ability and talent where I excelled … and a career that people would someday pay me to do for their companies and executives.

So why do I tell this story? Because the trendy thingy to say on Career Days is “Do Something You Love” … and I think that can be true, but a bit misleading.

Look, I loved basketball, but there was no amount of practice or passion that was going to get me to the NBA.

Writing was different … I loved it … and with practice and hard work I would get better and better and better. And actually make it the foundation of my career.

My point is you should definitely find a career doing something you love. That’s great. But, also pick something at which you are exceptional…. Where you shine.

When you combine a passion … with your special talent (and each of you has one) … that is when others will see your greatness, your gifts and your value.  That will be the real secret to building yourself a great career. 

Don’t be frozen by failure

Changing gears now … when I was student at Saint Peter’s University, I had a part-time job at a law firm up at Journal Square. I spent my afternoons reading legal briefs in a conference room, … taking notes, … filing, … and I was miserable. I hated it.

I remember getting the flu and actually preferring being home sick to going into the law office. That was when I knew it was not for me, so I quit, but I felt a bit like a failure.

A few years later, when I graduated from College with my degree in English – remember I loved writing – I could not find a job. It was a bit embarrassing … I graduated top of my class and I had no real prospects. 

I wound up interviewing to work in one of the big banks. Just to have a job. It was not work I was passionate about … and it was not something I thought I could excel at. I worked with words, not numbers. So, instead, I decided to try graduate school – almost a way to put off feeling like a failure at starting my career.

I went on to get a master’s degree in Communications at Fordham University, which turned out to be an amazing and formative year for my writing and career. I eventually got my first job in Public Relations at AT&T and spent a great 14 years there and at Lucent Technologies learning about Communications and growing in my skills.

I would eventually shift gears take a new job in Manhattan doing corporate communications with Pfizer. But after 3 months, it was a disaster and I knew I needed to leave.  Lots of reasons, but it was not the right fit.  Another career failure, I thought.

But, were these failures? What did I learn from these moments?

I learned not to be frozen by what you may perceive as failures. These were all important, but difficult, moments in my life.

 

I learned something each time about myself, …  about what I wanted to do, … and in some cases, more importantly, about what I did not want to do. I learned where I could shine and what made me happy. I kept moving forward.

Build relationships, not just resumes

Finally, I would tell you that great careers are built on great relationships, … not just degrees and dollars. 

And I have been fortunate to have many important relationships shape my career – many with their roots in Prep.

Jim Horan today is Prep’s Vice President of Major Gifts and Planning, and back in my day he was a Journalism teacher and administrator of External Affairs. Jim encouraged me as a Prep student to pursue writing and communications. And, he is still a writer and communicator I admire today. One of the best.

Prep alumnus Frank D’Amelio was someone I got to know in my early days at Lucent and he most recently retired from an amazing career at Pfizer. Frank became a colleague, friend and mentor over the years. Whenever I made big career decisions about leaving a job at Lucent, … or joining a new company like Zoetis, … Frank was there to offer his connections … his counsel … and his Hoboken style of encouragement.

And, whenever, I have had career choices to make … it was my closest friends from Prep whom I reached out to for support and advice.

So look around…

That guy at your lunch table who copies your homework today … may be the lawyer you are calling in 20 years for advice.

The friend on your train who has to borrow money for a Coke and is struggling with Calculus … may actually become your financial advisor in 10 or 15 years.     

And the teammate in your soccer, football or lacrosse team … may be the close friend you call when you come to a crossroads in your life or career and need someone to listen. 

Your relationships at Prep will matter, gentlemen  -- today and always.  As Dr.  Gomez has been saying this year, you are in Good Company. Never forget it.

Close

So, to wrap up …. as you spend today – and future days – thinking about your careers, I hope you will remember these lessons:

First. Do what you love … and grow where you shine.

Second. Don’t be frozen by failure. Be positive, learn and move forward.

And third. Build relationships, not just your resume.  Those will make all the difference in your life and your career.

Thank you for your time and attention. Go Prep!  Have a great day!

# # #

How CPR Saved My Life and Shaped My Career

Photo by Joshua Chehov on Unsplash

Okay, now that I have your attention, I should say that I did not have a heart attack. Let me explain.

About 25 years ago, I was early in my career doing corporate communications for a spinoff company called Lucent Technologies. It was the first of a few dream jobs for me. I had become the junior member of the new corporate media relations team that had just helped launched this company and brand with much fanfare and success (it didn’t last, but that’s another story). It was fun, exciting, and I was learning a ton from some amazing public relations pros that had grown up in AT&T.

One of those pros was Jane, the head of media relations. She was my boss, and we had a great connection, sharing youthful roots in Hudson County and affiliations with Saint Peter’s College. For me, Jane was part wise teacher, part tough coach and part big sister. She taught me about tight writing, reading reporters and dealing with crises. She also kept me laughing and gave me dating advice (Lose the turtlenecks!) – usually at the same time.

One typical work day, we were wrapping up and I was heading home. I said good night to Jane as she was packing up and heading off to a family thing. We would be the last ones out, which was pretty usual for a weeknight of late deadlines.

The next morning came and I arrived at the office for my usual routine, working the morning media report with one of my colleagues, when one of our directors called everyone into his office. He had the unenviable and heartbreaking task of telling us all that Jane had died unexpectedly and tragically the night before. Boom! There would be no more hearty laughter echoing from her office … no more rants about corporate stupidity or bad reporting … no more voicemails saying, “Do me a favor, Bill.” 

As you might expect. it hit everyone incredibly hard in our organization, and I was deeply impacted by the events and the way our team reacted individually and collectively. For me, this part of my career – my life – would leave a lasting imprint on how I wanted to work with people, and eventually lead teams, in my corporate career. It laid the foundation for several beliefs – what I coined as my own CPR -- that I have tried to live by over the years. 

Reflecting on Work and Leadership

Not long after Jane’s passing, I was given the opportunity to participate in one of those Ivy League Executive Education programs.  You go away for a few weeks, get your mini-MBA and reflect on your leadership style with like-minded aspiring executives. I was a bit on the young side in my cohort, and one of the final exercises was to think about your leadership story. I thought a lot about our Lucent team, the amazing work we did, and the way we worked through difficult times like Jane’s passing.

On the last day, a few people volunteered to tell their stories to the group in an auditorium. I didn’t think I could do it. While I am a “communicator,” presenting in front of crowds was not my sweet spot. But, I stood up there, told the story about Jane, what I learned and how it shaped me.

What I spoke about then was the C and P of my leadership beliefs (R would come later).

Community

When I think about what I enjoy about work -- and picking a place and team where I can do my best work -- it begins with Community.

We all spend lots of hours with our co-workers (In the Lucent days and since I have probably spent too many hours at work, but that’s another story). In the days and months after Jane’s passing, our entire organization mourned together. We realized we may have come together initially as co-workers, but in the end our bonds, concern and support for each other ran much deeper, especially at a time like this. That sense of community would remain evident even as the years passed.

As job arrangements change and you join new companies, you find that certain people remain in your life. In some cases, if you are lucky, those “work friends” become “just friends.” You continue to connect. Conversations become more about life and less about the latest career achievement or corporate gossip.

My lasting insight was that I wanted to know about my team’s families, their hobbies, their passions, their back stories. I wanted to share jokes, dinners, complaints, peeves and personal moments, not just be all business and transactional.

Most people would tell you I can be very serious and intense when I am working, and I may not always seem like the “warm and fuzzy” type at the office, but that sense of community matters to me. I have always been genuinely curious and interested in building those connections with people, and when you don’t have that, the workplace can feel hollow and cold.

Perspective

The next insight I have taken to heart is Perspective.

Going through the death of a loved one or a close co-worker can often provide the jolt you need to re-set your mind and keep work’s trivial problems and oversized expectations in perspective.

In the aftermath of Jane’s passing, I got a new boss Paula who was the most even-keeled person I ever worked for. She taught me that on most days, the world was not going to end for a typo or a missed call. We would figure it out and correct course together. The reality is if you aren’t making some mistakes then you aren’t trying new things and learning. My counsel to my teams has been: We will make mistakes. It happens. Let’s just not make the same one twice.

Over the years, this was probably the hardest lesson to learn, but it is one that has meant the most to me. In the corporate world, too often, there can be unrealistic expectations of perfection in everything. If you aren’t maximizing every opportunity and sweating every little detail, then you are made to feel like a slacker and the ulcers and anxiety can become constant companions.

I often find myself coaching my teams to know the difference between the “critical path” work that needs perfection – those where we all need to rally together – versus other work that needs to be “done” so we have more time and focus for the critical path assignments. When everything is urgent and requires a “gold-plated” approach, there is a cost in morale, engagement and satisfaction. If someone spots that off-kilter graphic on slide 39, or the missing Oxford comma on paragraph 5, congratulate them for finding the “Easter egg” you left. Correct it and move on.  

Knowing the difference between critical and nice-to-have helps you keep work life and personal wellness in the right perspective.  

Professionalism

Community and Perspective are wonderful, but at the end of the day I can get that from my family, my friends, or a pick-up basketball game. In my career, I want to work with people who take great pride in delivering high-quality, impactful work. Great results matter. Achieving goals matter. Setting high standards matter.  Professionalism matters.

On the day we found out about Jane’s passing, one of my colleagues demonstrated that professionalism for me in a profound way. One of my older co-workers, John, grew up working in newsrooms. He had “ink under his fingernails” as they used to say, and he also knew the newsroom never stopped. Shortly after the initial shock and tears about Jane, he grabbed me and took me to his office, and he said we have a job to do. We sat down at his computer and wrote Jane’s obituary in perfect AP style.

Whether it has been prepping for CEO interviews … quelling crises … announcing acquisitions … reporting earnings and running Annual Meetings … executing investor days or NYSE bell-ringings … rolling out new company strategies and introducing new leaders, John and many others over the years would instill in me a strong sense of work ethic, accountability, professionalism and pride in delivering great communications. It’s why we do what we do.

Respect and Recognition

Later in my career, I added the Rs to my leadership beliefs – Respect and Recognition.

You learn great lessons in your career from the leaders you want to emulate, but you can earn equally great lessons from the leaders you don’t want to be.

You will always encounter difficult situations in the workplace. Job assignments that don’t work out. Work styles that don’t mesh. Different philosophies or views on strategy and goals. Conflict is natural, necessary and sometimes even productive. Whatever the conflict or situation, though, dealing with people respectfully and honestly is a standard I hope I can always keep.

There’s no need to rehash some of these stories. While they felt very negative at the time, in the end they put me in a much better place and taught me very positive lessons about the leader I want to be. 

Recognizing people’s value and contributions is the final piece and the most rewarding. I have had leaders over the years who always seized the opportunity to thank people in the moment and to make it a priority. No event was ended or project finished until people were thanked. Recognition is something best served “warm” and “warmly.” It’s not always about the grand gesture, big celebration and award (although those are nice, too). It’s about your sincerity … letting people know that you see them, appreciate them, and understand what they contributed to achieving this goal. That handshake, hug, text or note says everything to the recipient – and says volumes about the leader.

Wrapping Up

A couple of decades later, I was the guy calling everyone into his office to tell them sad news about a colleague who had passed away after an illness.  I was the one shutting his door to write the tribute for Elinore and run the communications of this news to others. And, I found comfort in knowing I was in a place and with colleagues and friends who shared many of those same beliefs -- Community, Perspective, Professionalism, Respect and Recognition.

And, that’s it, CPR may not have “saved” my life, but it has definitely made my work life a whole lot more meaningful, fun and effective.

Driving Miss Tess

"You know that you aren't driving with Tess to school this morning, right? She has her license now," said my wife as the cold splash of reality hit me.

I had gotten used to our morning routine on school days. I would get my tea, clean out the dishwasher, read the news on my iPad and impatiently wait for Tess to come downstairs with her backpack. She would drive us both to school, practicing and learning her first lessons of the school day behind the wheel.

My more experienced friends have often told me to tread lightly with a teenage daughter's emotions, outbursts and deadly silence. I've read books trying to understand my ineptitude in finding the right topics, questions and words that might make for a civil conversation. There have been a lot of slamming doors, screaming outbursts and tears (and that was just me :) ... Patience. Patience. Patience.

MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING

Over the last year of teaching Tess to drive, it has been very different. She has tolerated her father a bit more than usual, and we found common ground. We discovered a safe place (a black Toyota RAV4),... a neutral topic (driving)... and an appropriate tone (quiet, instructive), that we could both agree to. 

Our interests were aligned for the first time in years. She wanted her driver's license and access to a car. I wanted a peaceful and enjoyable time with my daughter. And, we all agreed that I was a better driving option than her mother, who did not have the nerves or restraint to drive with a teen.  

Teaching a teenager to drive can be a very stressful experience for everyone, but I was lucky with Tess (my daughter Emma was whole different experience). Tess was goal-oriented -- what will it take to get my license and more independence? Listen to dad? OK. Spend a few hours a week in the car with him? OK. Don't talk back? OK.

GROUND RULES

Our driving time together followed certain patterns and ground rules: 

-- I would always start with one half-joking/half-serious question: Are you mentally prepared to drive? I seriously wanted to know if that was her focus when she was getting behind the wheel. She shouldn't be distracted, tired or upset about something else if she was going to drive. If there were other things going on in her mind, that was okay, but it wasn't time to drive a car.  

-- Once we got in the car, we had Dad's annoying litany of checks. Glasses? (Put on your glasses). License? (Make sure you have your license) Phone? (Put it away, or connect it to the car for some low music and turn on Do Not Disturb); Seatbelts? (For you and your passenger). Mirrors. (Check all your mirrors and visibility). Gear (Let's go.). I eventually got the exasperated "Dad, I know" comment as I would sit in my passenger seat and go through the checklist, but my hope is that it runs through her head and stays with her even when I am not there. I repeated a lot of other checklists and tips that I hope she'll remember in the years to come -- Never be in rush to get to a red light.  Slow down ... Are you ready to turn? Then "Gas 'N Go," don't meander through an intersection. ... Don't crowd the car in front of you at a red light? It you can't see their rear tires, you're too close...

-- Speak softly and carry a Waze app. I grew up in Jersey City, living every day with loud noises and louder people, so my normal speaking voice can be a bit harsher than my children's genteel, suburban ears are accustomed to. "Dad, stop yelling," they will say. "I am not yelling. I am just speaking loudly to get my point across. You don't know what yelling is." When I was driving with Tess, I spoke as softly as possible and she actually listened. When I did raise my voice (to avoid death from an oncoming car), Tess would object, "You're yelling at me" and then I would quietly explain that I had nothing but my voice to help control this car -- and if she wasn't responding to my "gentle" instructions then all I could do was raise my voice until she listened.  We eventually reached an understanding. We also agreed I could use my Waze app -- even though it might annoy her when she was driving the same way to school every day -- because I wanted to watch her speed and know if there was any detours ahead.

Tess successfully passed her driver's test last week. I was incredibly proud of my "student," but a little sad for myself. Our driving lessons are over and this special "dad and daughter" time has come to an end. Stay safe, Tess. Indulge your Dad with a drive once in while.  It's my favorite place to spend time with you ... and on terms we both seem to like.  Love you! 

Thanksgiving 2020 -- To Happiness, Health and Hope

Morristown Nov. 26, 2020

This year, Thanksgiving will be different. No doubt about it. As the rain comes down here in Morristown, I try not to lean into the dreary, drab and depressing feelings that come from a holiday weekend shadowed by COVID-19.

Instead, I look back at past photos and Thanksgiving blog posts about treasures found in 2019 or 2014. The faces, food and thoughts bring me back to a good place... a place I want to be. I begin to find the positive spirit that so often embodies this holiday for me.

Thanksgiving 2015

Each year, I give a Thanksgiving toast among our friends and family who join us. Nothing fancy or formal. Just a moment to capture the year. As I think about this unique year, three sentiments come to mind. Feelings that we need this year, more than ever.

In this year, I am thankful for three things:
-- Happiness. The smiles, laughs and warmth that come from ordinary moments like watching movies or videos with my kids,... calling old friends to re-connect and reminisce,... laughing and commiserating with co-workers on video calls,... enjoying peaceful walks in the park,... or chuckling at the antics of our dog and cats. Happiness comes in many shapes and sizes, not just the grand events and milestones. Look for it. Cherish it in every moment that you find it.

-- Health. With 260,000 deaths in the U.S. from COVID-19 and nearly 1.5 million deaths worldwide, we have never been more focused on -- or more appreciative of -- our health. We have realized collectively how many of us take good health for granted, especially in the U.S. We've also recognized how interconnected we all are, and how much we need to rely on each other, front-line medical workers and the sustainability of our healthcare systems. It's an appreciation and importance that should never wane after this pandemic.

-- Hope. It's about focusing on the selflessness, patience and kindness people have shown in these challenging times. The sacrifices that so many are willing to make and the generosity people have exhibited. It's the power of science and people to overcome any challenge. It's the belief we can overcome anything and tomorrow will be better.

So, that is my simple toast for Thanksgiving... wishing you and your families Happiness, Health and Hope as you celebrate this day. Stay safe, well and wonderful!

Reflections on Father's Day -- It All Means Something

Last weekend, I had one of those quiet fatherhood milestones that no one ever told me about. 

I was sitting in the kitchen with my two daughters, wife and their grandmother. I have always been the storyteller in our family... the one recounting -- and maybe embellishing a bit -- the memories of our life as a family. This evening was different. 

Out Banks, NC, 2009?

My daughters, Tess and Emma, are 16 and 18, and they started to tell the stories, sharing their memories of beach vacations in the Outer Banks with their cousins. Their cousin who was terribly afraid of butterflies. The toddler who would exit the pool to say "moo," squat and "fill" her diaper. The nearly "tragic" go-cart debacle when all the cousins had a crash and sent the track attendant into a fit.  I got to see those days from their more adult perspective for a few moments. We laughed a lot. The truth is I realized in that moment it all meant something to them, too.

As a father, you spend a lot of days thinking you are some type of "provider" or "protector" for your family. You may have some type of romanticized ideal of fatherhood. You wonder what that idea of fatherhood means in the suburbs of the 21st century. You hope all the tickling, toys, tuitions, trips and talks mean something to your children. And, you may wonder about that often until you sit in the kitchen on a spring day and they tell you about a memory they have.

It All Means Something

On my walk this morning, I thought about my nearly 80-year old father and a few of the "little boy" memories I may not have shared with him.  

I remember the time we picked up some Sabrett hotdogs from a "dirty water truck" on Danforth Avenue in Jersey City. As we drove away, I bit into my hotdog and discovered it smothered in mustard -- not ketchup (yes, I like ketchup on hotdogs -- but that is a whole other story). I was probably 7 or 8 years old and I was ticked off, so I rolled down the window of my Dad's Chevy Impala and threw my hotdogs right out the car window and cried. Somehow my father held it together and didn't throw me out of the car window after them. Ha! Supreme patience.It meant something.

I remember my Dad sitting in the stands for countless basketball games, or in the dugout for a few Little League baseball seasons. Driving me all over Hudson County for basketball summer leagues. One day, he almost blew a blood vessel when my grammar basketball school team played in the Yanitelli Center at St. Peter's College (the big game), and the coach never put me in for my moment in the big time (I was more relieved than anything considering the game featured my teammate, future Duke Star Bobby Hurley, and future Yankee pitcher Willie Banks on the other team). It meant something.

I remember all the barbecues in our backyard in Jersey City. My father on the grill. Friends and family passing through over the years, everyone cramming onto the patch of grass that was my father's urban "garden." My dog Buddy barking and chasing kids down the alleyway. My mother's deviled eggs. I remember passing food and condiments out of our first floor apartment window and down to folks standing in the yard. Playing darts (real darts, not lawn darts) with an ancient board propped on a ladder in the yard. Family. Fun. Food. Laughs. It meant something. 

I remember being a little boy, visiting my father when he worked at Bell Labs in Murray Hill, NJ. What a huge and mythical place (I would work there 20 years later). How proud my Dad was to show off his son, "Billy" ... "the third," to his crew in the mail room or the machine shops. As we would eat in the cafeteria or walk through those long hallways, everyone seemed to know my Dad and greeted him with a smile and a handshake. Hard work, Pride, Respect. It meant something.

Good times and great memories that helped make me the father I am today. It all meant something, Pop.  It still does. Thank you for everything.  Have a special Father's Day.  Love you...

Father's Day 2019

My Thanksgiving Treasures for 2019

Thanksgiving -- and a four-day weekend -- does offer us time to stop and reflect each year on the treasures we have in our lives. Some are obvious -- health, family, or good fortune. Some are unexpected -- the taste of homemade chocolate chip cookies; the comfort of an old, worn-out sweatshirt; the ease of super-fast streaming speeds; and the smell of a freshly cleaned house.

Five years ago, I wrote a Thanksgiving post on unappreciated treasures and I thought it could be time for a fresh look, so here goes:

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

1) Mobility -- Not the AT&T Wireless kind.  I mean being able to walk at your leisure, stroll in the park, go for a run or just move around the kitchen and make yourself a sandwich. I see my parents, aunts and uncles getting older each year and losing that basic gift of mobility. My mother with Parkinson's. My uncle with COPD. My dad with arthritis and joint issues. Wheelchairs, canes, aches and pains are probably in all our futures. It's an odd thing, but I cherish movement so much more because of them. I see how frustrating it can be to be stuck in a chair,... run out of breath after a few simple steps,... having to ask for help to do what used to be the simplest tasks. Mobility is a great gift. Don't take it for granted. 

2017 -- Disney Cruise

2) Google Photos -- When I do eventually lose my mobility, I know one thing I will be even more grateful for is Google Photos. I will sit and sort through the friendly faces and favorites on my phone. I will look back at my "albums" of trips and events from bygone days with a simple touch. Today, I love "Re-Discover This Day" messages that pop up and take me back to moments and memories that can put a smile on my face. Many apps on my phone have a practical purpose -- directions, news, weather, finances. But Google Photos is my app for smiles!

Part of my baseball cap collection

3) Baseball Caps -- I haven't played or coached baseball in almost 30 years, but I do love and appreciate a good baseball cap. They aren't just practical at keeping you warm, providing sun protection, or hiding bedhead on a Saturday morning run of errands, they are also great collectibles. Each hat I own has  story about a place I want to remember or a gift from a dear friend.  Graeter's Ice Cream in Columbus, Ohio, where we have enjoyed many a cone with my wife's family. Outer Banks, N.C., where our kids and cousins grew up on summer vacations. Saint Peter's Peacocks, my alma mater and forever home in Jersey City.  Give me a curved and bendable brim, a colorful logo and  a comfortable fit any day of the week.

Photo by Tomasz Woźniak on Unsplash

4) Noom -- This year for my 50th birthday, I decided to try and build some healthier habits and lose some weight. I got the app Noom to give me some direction and it's been a huge help with flexible approaches, brief articles and simple tools . I became more mindful and deliberate about what and when I eat, without denying myself everything I love. I got insights about my food triggers and behaviors. And, I also became more committed to regular exercise and movement (see #1 above). I've lost 15 pounds since February and I've made sustainable changes in my habits and thinking. Nothing works for everyone, but I am very grateful this year for Noom and the healthy habits it has helped me adopt.

Fenway Park for 50 with the Old Gang

5) Friendships, old and new -- There has been lots written lately about men and their struggles with friendships. See here on Huffington Post, here in The New York Times and a really good read here on Quartzy with Vox founder Ezra Klein. Friendships can be a struggle for men and have real effects on their health. As we age and stop doing the activities, work or sports that we tend to bond over, it becomes more of a strain. I am very thankful for the friendships I have today. Some are old high school and college friends who still call me Billy and can happily recount our most embarrassing moments. Some are former co-workers whom I have come to call friends over the years; our gatherings and conversations have moved from traditional career topics to more about family, kids and personal struggles. As I grow older, I am more "intentional" about friendships and put in more effort than when I was young. But that effort can make you appreciate your friends and time together even more when you make the investment.

So, those are my Thanksgiving Treasures for 2019.  What are yours?
 

Going Home Again: Be Confident. Be Communicators. Be Kind.

This week, I had the honor of being a keynote speaker at my alma mater Saint Peter's University for the annual Michaelmas Convocation. 
What is Michaelmas?  It's a ceremony following the medieval tradition of convening the faculty and students to start the term and it is celebrated in honor of the feast of the Archangels Michael, Gabriel and Raphael. For Saint Peter's, they recognize students' academic achievements, including the top ten seniors who are inducted into the Most Noble Order of the Peacock (yes, it's a thing!!).

I was truly honored by the invitation to share some thoughts with faculty and students who are some of Saint Peter's best and brightest, and I thought I would post my speech here for those who may wonder what wisdom I would bestow on such scholars.  Enjoy!




Saint Peter’s University

Michaelmas Convocation

Sept. 25, 2019

Thank you, Provost Bonato and President Cornacchia.

It’s truly an honor to be here today and to speak with you.

When I got the note from Saint Peter’s asking me to join you today for the keynote, I was actually quite surprised. You see, as the chief communications officer of Zoetis … and over my more than 25-year career in public relations,… I am normally the speech writer, not the speech giver. I usually get to be the coach and critic, not the subject or speaker.  So, hopefully, I have learned a few things over my years of speechwriting, and I can put it into good practice today.

Let me begin with Congratulations to all of you for the awards you are about to receive.

Reading, writing, research, and analysis have all developed your minds and talents in ways that merit the admiration of your professors, your parents, and your peers – and for the lucky ones maybe your siblings, too. Although that may be a stretch on some days.

You have put in the time and hard work that doesn’t show up on scoreboards or SportsCenter. It happens in classrooms, in science labs, and in libraries. You have dedicated yourself to the personal rewards that come from curiosity, classwork, and academic excellence.  And, today is your day. Congratulations again. 

And, while we are in the spirit of congratulations, I would also like to recognize the professors, administrators, and staff who have helped you reach your potential, stretch beyond your limits, and achieve goals that even you may not have thought were possible.  

So as we join together at this celebration of academic excellence, I am left to wonder what meaningful message can I share with you?

• n  You already appreciate the importance and value of a classroom education. That’s evident.
  
• n  Most of you are probably smarter and more well-read than this “old English major” standing before you.
  
• n  And, if you are anything like my Gen Z daughters, you are all anxious to get out of your fancy clothes … get back on your smartphones,… and head off to the nearest Starbucks for coffee.

But, I ask you to indulge me for me for a few more minutes as I share three lessons from my experience at Saint Peter’s….  lessons that I think will complement your academic learning and hopefully strike a chord with your experiences here.

Be Confident

The first lesson is be confident.

Saint Peter’s has certainly grown in prominence and recognition under Dr. Cornacchia’s leadership, making many prestigious “best college” rankings and lists. But, it is still easy to feel like an underdog at Saint Peter’s in Jersey City.  It is part of our DNA. 

There are bigger “name” schools that laud their academic achievements, and there are certainly “larger” stages for receiving awards. But, trust me when I say Saint Peter’s has offered you everything you need for a successful life and career.

At Saint Peter’s you have … An incredible and dedicated faculty… Personal attention for every student… A liberal arts foundation, with creative and demanding opportunities for learning… Rich, real-life experiences through internships and cooperative education… A diverse community in which to grow and challenge one another… And a set of values based on caring for others and contributing to society that will enrich your life for years to come.

Another reason to be confident is that you are becoming part of a proud legacy at Saint Peter’s. Your achievements over four years are amazing and commendable, but where you can go next is limitless.

Look at our alumni. I think of two of my Saint Peter’s classmates. One who is a world-renowned heart surgeon, Dr. Allan Stewart. He is an expert on cardiothoracic surgery,... has been trusted to operate on world leaders like Bill Clinton,… and generously teaches others around the world his life-saving techniques. He’s actually off to Nigeria this week for surgery and teaching.

Another classmate and good friend of mine is Tom Weatherall, the CEO of the Make-A-Wish Foundation in New Jersey. Tom’s daily mission is bringing joy, smiles and relief to children who are suffering from life-threatening illnesses by granting their wishes. Tom is a true expert in fundraising, philanthropy and a fulfilling dreams.   

What fulfilling and special careers these classmates have chosen.

I think of my mentors from Saint Peter’s. Frank D’Amelio, who is the CFO and Executive Vice President of Pfizer, one of the world’s largest healthcare product companies.  Frank grew up in Hoboken where his family ran a local plumbing supply business and where he learned all about hard work and finances. Today, he is one of the most respected CFOs on Wall Street and responsible for investing billions of dollars in the development of Pfizer’s breakthrough biopharmaceutical products and pipeline.

Another very special mentor of mine is Kathy Fitzgerald. Kathy was a student in one of the early graduating classes of women at Saint Peter’s,… and my first boss. Our Saint Peter’s roots bonded us immediately, and she has been a teacher, counselor and friend ever since. Kathy had a storied career, building world-class PR organizations across four companies and three industries.  She became a legend in corporate communications for building reputations, managing  crises and counseling the boards of AT&T, Lucent Technologies, KPMG and PSE&G. And now, retired from the corporate world, she is back at Saint Peter’s sharing her experience as a teacher.

And lastly, I think of a Saint Peter’s student whom I mentored, Mesfin Fekadu. We shared dinners and discussions at Jersey City restaurants when he was an ambitious student looking to work in media. Since then, he has become the lead music editor for the Associated Press. You can read his articles and interviews with everyone from Beyoncé and Taylor Swift to Rihanna and the Rolling Stones. This young man has built an amazing career from humble beginnings in Philadelphia.

Diverse and exceptional legacies in each one. And yours is still to be written. So, again, I say be Confident. You are part of an amazing and talented family at Saint Peter’s,… and you are earning your place every day.

Be Communicators 

My second piece of advice is be Communicators.

You are already gaining the subject matter knowledge and skills you need for your major and the future career you want to pursue. Whether it’s biology, accounting, cyber security or political science, you’ve proven that you can do it.

I would tell you, however, that wherever you go and whatever you do in your careers, your ability to communicate will make a huge difference in your success.  It’s a skill that every recruiter and every employer expects. 

The CEOs and executives I have worked with over my career have had a range of credentials – scientists, engineers, marketing gurus, financial wizards.  But, they were also all good communicators and saw it as an irreplaceable skill as they rose through the ranks.

Communications was not someone else’s job. It was how they influenced customers, colleagues, investors and all sorts of people. Like many of the skills you are learning at Saint Peter’s, it will take effort to be a good communicator.

I can remember sitting in Pope Lecture Hall with other students. We were taking Classical Rhetoric and Public Speaking with Professor James C.G. Conniff.

We came from all sorts of majors – English, Computer Science, Business, Urban Studies, etc.  This was before Saint Peter’s had a formal Communications program. We were all there because we knew Conniff would make us better. He could be a gruff and cranky old man,… but he was also a gifted and brilliant teacher. If you can, picture this,… Professor Conniff was a cross between Yoda from Star Wars … and Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street. And I say that with love and admiration. 😊

We would all give brief speeches or read monologues,… often on any topic of our choosing. Conniff would interrupt us,… bark at us,… correct us,… and pass us hand-written notes in his cryptic scrawl. These were concise and pointed critiques of your thoughts and delivery.  Illegible pearls of wisdom. His focus was on the spoken word and thoughts, not penmanship. But I am sure he is up there now jotting down notes on my elocution, my pace and my Hudson County accent. 

He was one of many teachers at Saint Peter’s who taught me that the best ideas and greatest talents can be easily ignored without the skill to share them with others. So I say to you all… Be Communicators.

Be Kind

And finally … and most importantly.  Be kind.

You are fortunate to be at a Jesuit school such as Saint Peter’s, where the idea of being a Man or Woman for Others is core to its mission and culture.

Kindness can come in grand works and small gestures. At Saint Peter’s, it can be seen in the school’s commitment to serving others through its Campus Ministry or Peer Educator programs … or it can be seen in simpler ways -- welcoming a new student to campus,… checking on a friend who is struggling … or simply by not having an episode of road rage when you lose the last parking spot in the Armory lot or Yanitelli Center.

Last year, when I had to help my parents sell their home and move out of Jersey City after 45 years on McAdoo Avenue, I reached out to Saint Peter’s for help. I asked if they had any ideas on how to get rid of all the stuff that my parents couldn’t take with them to their new home. It was a daunting task for me and  my sister.

It would have been easy to pass me off to the Salvation Army or ask me to drop things off in one place or another, but Saint Peter’s and Erich Sekel from Campus Ministry went well beyond that. Erich made himself available to me. He visited my parents’ house and offered to help on his own time. He came to their home with other volunteers and packed up donations of clothes and kitchen supplies on a weekend. He went the extra mile for me and my parents, and he showed kindness when none was expected … or required. 

I say this to you because kindness is not always easy … and it can’t always compete with our desire for academic awards or the thrill of exciting careers. … But, it is sooooo, soooo necessary,… so valuable,… and so fundamental to what Saint Peter’s wants to instill in your education outside of the classroom. And it is through your kindness that you’ll have your greatest impact and build your most meaningful legacy.

The academic awards you all receive today are incredibly well-deserved. I appreciate how hard-earned they are and I congratulate you all again,… but I also challenge you all to remember the other lessons that you can take from Saint Peter’s. Those lessons that are found outside your classrooms, books and tablets. 

Remember … to always … Be Confident….  Be Communicators…  And most importantly … Be Kind.

Thank you….

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